Companion animal loss displaces other topics today

You’ll probably recognize this situation: Knowing exactly what you want to say (or write, in this case), you unexpectedly come upon something else that hits you hard and can’t wait.  So it went with this blog post.

Yesterday I attended a superlative webinar offered by Jackson Galaxy, the multi-media cat specialist ("Cat Daddy") I’ve followed off and on for years.  First it was “My Cat from Hell” on TV – usually well worth the watch -- then various other programs of his.  Most recently it was his seasonal “Cat Camp,” which I discovered only after it went virtual.

Norman

The high quality of that series surprised me; each session taught me things I wanted to know, and did it well.  Yesterday’s webinar, “You're Not Going Crazy, You're Grieving: Navigating Animal Companion Loss in a Post-Pandemic World,” was timely and excellent.

Joined by Stephanie Rogers, a grief counselor who specializes in animal companion loss support, Galaxy spoke in touching self-disclosing ways about the effects of pet deaths on their people.  At some length, the two discussed desirable ways to handle such grief-filled times.  

BTW, “grief” was defined as the internal expression of loss; it’s a process we go through after losing a beloved pet.  “Mourning” is the external expression of internal experience of grief, such as crying, sharing stories of those who died and rituals.

Bernie

Rogers shared her formula for grief: “We grieve in direct proportion to how much we love.”  That is, “Our grief experience will be every bit as big as our love.”  We can expect deep, lasting pain after the death of a companion animal we deeply loved; it’s the price we pay.

“Disenfranchised loss” is one major impediment while a person grieves for a lost pet.  When society doesn’t view grief for an animal’s death being as important as grief for the loss of a person, that only adds to the mourner’s sorrow.

The person grieving for a lost animal often wonders, “What can I do to stop the grief, the pain?”  And Rogers answers: Nothing can be done to move on faster and get past this.  We need to understand grief as a transformational life experience; we should “embrace our grief” and acknowledge the intensity of our loss, naming and claiming it.  “It takes more strength to mourn than to keep a stiff upper lip,” she says.

(For more about Stephanie Rogers, visit her website: EmbracingYourGrief.com.  And for more on the subject of grief from the same team of experts, register for this CatCamp summer session on Saturday, August 28 at CatCamp.com. It will cost $10 – a bargain!)

Dupree

Animal nits & bits

 ·         Monarch butterflies: going, going gone?  Judging by monarchs’ interest in my milkweed plant this summer, the sad reports I’ve read must be true – these beautiful creatures are just not showing up in anything like their (former) usual numbers.  I saw just 3 monarchs around the milkweed flowers, and later, only 2 caterpillars among the leaves.  

Will future generations never see monarchs?

 ·         Local sightings with one surprise:  Deer, now more visible everywhere, this time included what I suppose was a young buck, with appreciable antlers – not way high but definitely getting there.  He stared calmly at me while I slowed down for a closer look at him.

·         A fox strolled along the sidewalk-outskirts of Princeton’s    main street, cool as a Kirby cuke.  

Tee shirt surprise

It’s an old pale blue tee with top and underside views of horseshoe crabs in dark blue – a happy reminder of Stone Harbor’s Wetlands Institute.  Finally, this summer, I read the italic wording: Limulus polyphemus. 

How about that?  Polyphemus: a literary allusion to the one-eyed giant Odysseus encountered, and defeated, in his travels.  Now I’m wondering why horseshoe crabs were named so colorfully. 

Moral of the story: Read your own tee shirts!

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